How to Maintain Commitment in Your Marriage

What Is Commitment?
Some people think that it springs from a sense of duty but it takes more than that. Commitment can be likened to the mortar that binds the bricks of a sturdy house. Mortar is made from a combination of ingredients such as sand, cement, and water. Similarly, commitment is formed from a combination of factors such as, trust and friendship. But that bond can equally be weakened, lets find out how.



The Challenges:

Commitment in itself requires a lot of hard work, and self Sacrifice, and readiness to forgo your own preferences so to please your mate. Although some might think that the idea of pleasing the other partner than oneself and giving without asking back is outdated and out of fashion, but if your family happiness is important to you, then the principle of self sacrifice will not be option to you. Marriage also demands a lot of hard work and patience, in some cases even marriage mates who are unselfish do not always acknowledge each other anxieties or value their mates sacrifices. it could be disastrous because when a couple fails to show appreciation for each other, their marriage is bound to cause them tribulation in their flesh than it would otherwise. so in other for your marriage to survive hard times and thrive smoothly, you need to develop a long term view of your relationship. But you might be committed to your relationship and your mate is not, so how can you equally make your mate to be committed to the relationship as well?

How To Strengthen Commitment

1). Make Your Marriage A Priority: we all have priorities, and we all equally have scale of preference, to maintain a healthy family life, your marriage should come second to nothing in your overall scale of preference (you can read the bible book of Philippians 1:10) the bible calls it more important thing. God also values the way husband and wife treat each other. And you gain favor from God when you treat each other with respect. Your mate should come first in anything you do in your life. Try and ask yourself, How much time do I set aside for my mate? Ask yourself again, what specific thing have I done to reassure my mate that we are still good friend.The amount of time you invest in your relationship really matters to your mate because it shows how much committed you are to the relationship.

Try and find out from your mate to know how the other partner feels you are taking the relationship, to do this in a practical way, take a piece of paper and write down the following, Money, Work, Entertainment, Marriage, and Friends. Then mark what you believe to be your spouses priorities and ask your mate to do the same, then exchange the list, by so doing you will find out what your mate feels is taking more of your attention, then discuss with your mate to find out if there is a way to make amend that is if something else seems to be taking priorities other than your mate. Also try to find out what catches more of your mate interest in other to make him or her happier.

2) Avoid All Forms Of Infidelity: Try and avoid anything that might lead to unfaithfulness. if we remember the words of Jesus in the Bible book of (matthew5:28)when you keep looking at a woman to have passion for her you have already committed adultery with her in your heart, and that applies to women too. Adultery is a seed, when it is sown in the heart and is regular watered then it becomes fertile, then the heart will be led astray. Pornography is one tool that can lead the heart astray, some think that it is an adult movie, but truthfully, it is a film for young children and youth who are scared of tomorrow. So for you to avoid infidelity in your marriage, you must make a solemn vow never to watch pornography with or without your mate.

Dangers of pornography: It presents women as mere sex toys, and the performances there might be difficult for your mate to carry out, and you may start feeling you married the wrong person because the Bible says that expectation postponed is making the heart sick. So pornography presents a feeling of self worthlessness to the one watching it. So try and make a covenant with your eyes never to view anything displeasing to your mate present or not.

Try and guard your heart from forming an inappropriate attachment to a member of the opposite sex. you might consider it to be a harmless friendship, but remember that you can not tell the other person mind and motive, and secondly, the heart is very deceptive and can lead one astray before one can get hold of his senses.

Ask your self the following questions: To whom am I most attracted to, my spouse or to someone else? With who do I share good news first-my spouse or someone else? if my mate ask me to limit my contact with an associate of the opposite sex, how would I react? would I be resentful or would I happily make the requested change? These and many more are what you ask yourself to evaluate your relationship with anyone other than your mate.

If you find yourself attracted to a member of the opposite sex or anyone other than your mate, then you should limit your contact with that one to only what is necessary and keep all encounters on purely professional level. Try not to focus on ways you think this person is superior to your mate. Instead focus on your mates positive qualities. Then try also to reflect on the basic reasons why you fell in love with your mate then ask yourself if those beautiful attributes has been lost or is it just you who has failed to see them anymore.

Take the initiative to make whatever needed adjustment your relationship would need to survive any great storm in your marriage.

Whether your marriage is stable or strained, your mate need to know that you are committed to making the marriage a success. Try as hard as you to convince your mate that you want your marriage to succeed no matter what comes it way.

Divorce should not be an option when there is a difficulty in your marriage make sure you try to resolve all minor problems before they blow up and become bigger problems that can lead to dissolving of a happy union, remember also that God is the originator of marriage, so when there is a heavy storm in the boat of a marriage then practical advice should be sort from the bible.

Read this book and apply all its advice and you find yourself more committed to your mate, and you derive the best from your mate and that will lead to a more fulfilling and happy marriage. In a marriage, misunderstanding that can sometimes lead to a quarrel is not always unusual especially when the couples just got married. these two individuals(husband and wife) are people from different family background, race, religion, ethnic, and so many differences that might exist between them before they married. in each of the households issues are handled differently matters are treated in different ways, standards and values are different, with different upbringing and training.

With the above enumerations you can be able to deduce that a misunderstanding or even quarrel must exist between them till they understand each other perfectly, accept their new roles as members of a new family and create a new set of standards and values.

When couples get married, there is always struggle and battle for supremacy, who should set acceptable standards and values, who should lead, and who should be lead? those are always subject for their battles for supremacy.
cultures vary from place to place about the acceptable answer as to who should lead, but our concentration here is not who should lead, but how to resolve a resultant dispute that might arise in a family.

There are practical advice to follow, like the bible says, women should be in subjection to their own husbands. from that statement its obvious that the man should take the lead.

When you get married, there are certain characters your spouse will exhibit that you would never believe he is capable of. this happens because a relationship is like looking at a white paper with little stain on it from a distance, you can hardly see the stain, so when in courtship, those traits that are like a stain on a white paper will never show until after marriage, when you bring the white paper closer you will be able to see the stain, likewise after marriage when you start living together you will then see those bad behaviors you never knew existed.

When there is a misunderstanding, try to settle it before it will generate to a quarrel, if your partner exhibits fits of anger and start raing abusive speech on you, it takes only your inner strength to be able to avoid picking a quarrel and returning the insult.

What you need do is, no matter what he says, before answering, smile, make sure you smile deeply and also from the heart, then take a deep breath in, and then exhale gently, then with your smile still on you, try to sue for peace.

When you do that and you get the process your partner will notice that you are not in the mood for a fight and will surely be embarrassed and also sue for peace, even apologizing and asking for forgiveness.

To get full details why some Men cheat on their wife and what can be done,click here!