How to Maintain Commitment in Your Marriage

What Is Commitment?
Some people think that it springs from a sense of duty but it takes more than that. Commitment can be likened to the mortar that binds the bricks of a sturdy house. Mortar is made from a combination of ingredients such as sand, cement, and water. Similarly, commitment is formed from a combination of factors such as, trust and friendship. But that bond can equally be weakened, lets find out how.

The Challenges:
Commitment in itself requires a lot of hard work, and self Sacrifice, and readiness to forgo your own preferences so to please your mate. Although some might think that the idea of pleasing the other partner than oneself and giving without asking back is outdated and out of fashion, but if your family happiness is important to you, then the principle of self sacrifice will not be option to you. Marriage also demands a lot of hard work and patience, in some cases even marriage mates who are unselfish do not always acknowledge each other anxieties or value their mates sacrifices. it could be disastrous because when a couple fails to show appreciation for each other, their marriage is bound to cause them tribulation in their flesh than it would otherwise. so in other for your marriage to survive hard times and thrive smoothly, you need to develop a long term view of your relationship. But you might be committed to your relationship and your mate is not, so how can you equally make your mate to be committed to the relationship as well?
How To Strengthen Commitment

What to Look for in a Mate When Preparing for Marriage

Everyone has choices and what they will want their mate to possess. some though have made so many mistakes in setting unrealistic standards and these standards and unnecessary choices has made a lot of people who are of marriage age remain unmarried.
It is not wrong to set standards or have choices as explained above, but the point is making a reasonable and realistic choice is a great key to finding a suitable mate as well as happiness in a marriage. when you approach someone of the opposite sex whom you find attractive or that you want to settle down with, feel free to approach the person after you have done proper self scrutiny, you might start by asking yourself, Is marriage really my intention? you need to be sure before you proceed because it is very wrong to toil with someones emotion. there are some cases you approach someone of the opposite sex with sincere intention and the response you get is negative. in that case you do not have to force yourself on someone or become pushy or even beg someone to pity you and fall in love. if that should happen it can later lead to frustration, so do not persist to the point of being objectionable, remember that the other person has a right to make choices too and you might not be the persons choice.
Compatibility: you obviously need a mate that is compatible with you. you do not

How to Prepare for a Successful Marriage (part 1)

Preparing for marriage requires careful preparation just like building a house. Before the foundation is laid, land must be acquired and the plans drawn up, so typically like building a house, it is very wise to sit down first and count the cost of it both financially and in terms of commitment to determine the readiness so that you wont make a mistake that will lead to regrets. in this article we will see how to prepare for a successful marriage that will bring lasting joy and happiness.
To have a success of marriage,  you first need to have a realistic view of it both the blessings and the cost of being married. there are vital questions you need answers to that will surely guide you to a successful marriage.
1.) How can you tell if you are ready for marriage?
2.)What should you look for in a mate?
3.)How can you make a success of courtship?
ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE?
The first step here is to tell your self the truth. marriage is sweet but

Important Questions to Consider Before You Say "I DO"

The wedding day is usually a very happy and celebrated day in a persons life and the major keyword for that day is "I DO" which signifies an agreement to leave your parents and stick to your new partner and that agreement is supposed to be binding for as long as you both are alive.
Every one alive especially women loves to be loved and one way they can be very much assured of your love is when you are ready and willing to take them down the aisle, some times some might accept to marry for the wrong reason and end up regretting their decision and in most cases it leads to seperation or even a divorce. there are some certain things you need to confirm before you go ahead to say i do.
 Things to Consider Before the Agreement:
1.What are The

3-year-old Boy Abducted In Calabar Church

A three-year-old boy, Victor Offiong Edem, was abducted by an unknown person at the Assemblies of God’s Church 14, Nnamdi Azikiwe Street, Calabar South during Sunday service, December 15, 2013, reports have said.

According to reports, the boy’s father, Mr Offiong Edem, a staff of the College of Health Technology, Calabar said he took his family to the church on the thanksgiving Sunday to thank God for his goodness to him in 2013.

After the service, he went to work and left Victor with his wife, Angelica and his other son, Samuel but was later informed that Victor had gone missing.

“I do work on Sundays. Soon after giving my offering, I went to work leaving behind my wife, my first son and Victor in the church only to be called later that Victor had gone missing.”

How to Prepare for a Successful Marriage (part 3)Making courtship work

How Can You Make a Success of Courtship?Read (part 1)&(part 2)
To make a success of courtship, you must make sure that your moral conduct is above reproach. sex is for two people who are married and should be kept in its proper place. relationships based on sex and money in most cases do not eventually work out. you must never cheapen or displease yourself because you want to get married, always maintain your intergrity. sex is best enjoyed on your wedding night when it has been waited for and endured over time.Be careful that displays of affection do not escalate into unclean conduct or even fornication.
Still there are some relationships that might have started off a bit wrongly, its not that every relationship must fail or not lead to marriage because the parties involved had sex, but some eventually do, if you are having sex in your relationship you might want to ask yourself, "what will i enjoy on the night of my wedding?" my best humble advice is to quit. when you cut sex off in a courtship it helps you concentrate on the more important things and helps you quicken your pace to marriage.
Because the heart is treacherous, both of you would be wise to avoid being isolated in a house, an apartment, a parked automobile, or anywhere else that would give opportunity for wrong conduct.
Keeping your courtship morally clean gives clear evidence that you have self-control and that you put unselfish concern for the other person’s welfare ahead of your own desires.
Communication: is a very vital part of a relationship, the communication line should always remain opened. if your parner lives far off, both of you can still work things out, there should be a steady flow of communication, in these era of social networks and video calls, communication has become a lot easier and even cheaper and you can communicate with each other even face to face as if you were near.
Talk about issues that might present a challenge later in the future like, do you want to have children? how many do you want? where will you both live? will you both work secularly? also discuss about extended families, will your parents or sibblings live with you? how many? these questions and many more should be discussed so that it will not later present a problem in the family.
Preparing for the Wedding:
Some people spend more money on the wedding and arrangements more than they will even spend on the marriage. some spend to please friends and families leaving them financially drained and exhausted.
Make a budget, do not try to please anyone or do not follow slavish customs that can overshadow the meaning of the occasion and may rob you of the joy that you should have.
Remember that your wedding lasts just one day, but your marriage lasts a lifetime. Avoid concentrating too much on the act of getting married. plan ahead for a life of being married. Then you will have prepared well for a successful marriage.

 

How to Prepare for a Successful Marriage(part 2)Getting a Mate

 

What  to Look  for  in  a Mate:   (Read the part 1 here!)
Everyone has choices and what they will want their mate to possess. some though have made so many mistakes in setting unrealistic standards and these standards and unnecessary choices has made a lot of people who are of marriage age remain unmarried.
It is not wrong to set standards or have choices as explained above, but the point is making a reasonable and realistic choice is a great key to finding a suitable mate as well as happiness in a marriage. when you approach someone of the opposite sex whom you find attractive or that you want to settle down with, feel free to approach the person after you have done proper self scrutiny, you might start by asking yourself, Is marriage really my intention? you need to be sure before you proceed because it is very wrong to toil with someones emotion. there are some cases you approach someone of the opposite sex with sincere intention and the response you get is negative. in that case you do not have to force yourself on someone or become pushy or even beg someone to pity you and fall in love. if that should happen it can later lead to frustration, so do not persist to the point of being objectionable, remember that the other person has a right to make choices too and you might not be the persons choice.
Compatibility: you obviously need a mate that is compatible with you. you do not have to be in a relationship with someone with a different idea believes or that your character or personality is different from, understanding yourself might be very difficult. do not look for a mate that is wise, or that knows everything, marry someone who is teachable and quick to make adjustments when needed.
You do not have to look for a perfect mate, you can always love that imperfect person perfectly.
Physical appearance: it is not entirely bad or wrong if your mate is physically endowed or attractive, but placing emphasis on someones appearance when it comes to marriage can lead to a disastrous end. inner qualities and beauty should always come first and the paramount consideration before anything else for you to make a success of marriage.
The truth is: you can never find anyone who shares your entire beliefs, ideas, values and your thoughts.do not ask: "Do we agree on everything? it might be wise to rather ask: "What happens when we disagree?"
If you want to get married, be wary of anyone who is proud and opinionated, never willing to compromise, or who constantly demands and schemes to have his or her own way.
Find  Out  Before Hand
There are some basic questions that can help you analyze properly the person you want to marry, For example, a woman might ask, “What kind of reputation does this man have? Who are his friends? Does he display self-control? How does he treat elderly persons? What kind of family does he come from? How does he interact with them? What is his attitude toward money? Does he abuse alcoholic beverages? Is he temperamental, even violent? Could I deeply respect him?” A man might ask, “Does this woman display love and respect? Is she capable of caring for a home? What will her family expect of us? Is she wise, industrious, thrifty? What does she talk about? Is she genuinely concerned about the welfare of others, or is she self-centered, a busybody? Is she trustworthy? Is she willing to submit to headship, or is she stubborn, perhaps even rebellious?”
Although the above questions will surely help you to analyze things, but you should still give room for imperfections, do not expect a replica of a hero or a heroine from a romance movie or novel, every human on earth have shortcomings or limitations and some of these will have to be overlooked by the both partners.
What, though, if you notice things that trouble you deeply? Such doubts should be considered carefully. However romantic you may feel or however anxious you may be to get married, do not close your eyes to serious faults. If you have a relationship with someone about whom you have serious reservations, it is wise to discontinue the relationship and to refrain from making a lasting commitment to that person.

How to Prepare for a Successful Marriage (part 1)

Preparing for marriage requires careful preparation just like building a house. Before the foundation is laid, land must be acquired and the plans drawn up, so typically like building a house, it is very wise to sit down first and count the cost of it both financially and in terms of commitment to determine the readiness so that you wont make a mistake that will lead to regrets. in this article we will see how to prepare for a successful marriage that will bring lasting joy and happiness.

To have a success of marriage,  you first need to have a realistic view of it both the blessings and the cost of being married. there are vital questions you need answers to that will surely guide you to a successful marriage.

1.) How can you tell if you are ready for marriage?
2.)What should you look for in a mate?
3.)How can you make a success of courtship?

ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE?
The first step here is to tell your self the truth. marriage is sweet but very challenging, are you ready for the commitment needed to keep a marriage? there are some of your personal likes or traits that you might have to let go, remember that you will leave your father and mother and even siblings to start a family with someone from a different background and upbringing.
Commitment is needed for you to stick with one person in a marriage, unlike when you were dating, you will not have the liberty anymore to date or try another relationship even if you are not enjoying your present relationship.
Sexual relations outside your home destroys the family and must be avoided, so you need to ask yourself if you are willing to keep yourself for your mate alone, do you love your mate enough not to desire someone else but him or her?
Do not rush into marriage or marry because your friends or everyone around you is getting married, or simply because you see someone enjoying his or marriage so you start fantasizing about it and want to experience it, you need to have a clear and realistic view of marriage before you delve into it.
The truth: although there are some who actually enjoy their marriage, but there might not really be any home without its own problems or challenges, but some are wise enough to let love lead and settle inside before coming out, so you might not see the problems because they have settled it, but you might not have known how enormous the challenge was.
Maturity contributes to a successful marriage too. getting married when the sexual desire is hot can be detrimental or even lead to regrets in marriage. peoples likes and preferences change with time, people who get married too early might feel they made a mistake later when their likes or preferences likely change. so many marriages that fail today are as a result of early marriage and changed or failed expectations.

KNOW YOURSELF FIRST
Marriage will not change your personality. you need to know yourself first, what qualities do you have? what traits do you possess that can lead to a success in marriage? what kind of husband or wife will you make? are you always complaining, or easy to push blames to another person, or are you quick to admit mistakes? Are you gloomy or optimistic?
In choosing a mate or preparing for marriage you need to know yourself first, then your mate. you necessarily do not have to look for your twin in personality because there can never be!but you can honestly look for a mate that his or her personality will compliment yours. for instance, if you are a gloomy or pessimistic kind, what do you think would happen if you marry someone with the same nature? or if you are quick tempered, what will be the out if you marry someone of the same nature and a quarrel or misunderstanding arises between the both of you? when you have traits that needs to work on, its best you work on it before going into marriage because it might poss a challenge to your marriage. no matter how deep rooted your flaws are, with strong determination and effort, you will always conquer. you need to change your personality especially the faulty ones and put on a new one that will compliment your mate.

To be continued...

The Role of the Mother in the Family

THE ROLE OF THE MOTHER IN THE FAMILY ARRANGEMENT

    From the origin of the first human pair, the role of the wife can never be undermined.the man was lonely and alone, the woman was made for him as a helper and a companion.the holy books have in all respect given women responsibilities, roles that when accomplished will bring fulfillment in a family. life on earth can only be complete when the woman adds
or contribute to the procreation circle.The bible for instance recognizes the woman and accords her importance when it said that a man will leave his father and mother and must stick to his wife and they will become one flesh.



HOW IS THE IMPORTANCE OF WOMEN EMPHASIZED?

The importance of women is emphasized by the enormous duties they owe to their family and the society at large, a woman who fails to fulfill her role in the family will tamper the joy of the society in a number of ways. to buttress this point, The 26th President of the United States,Theodore Roosevelt stated:"It is the tasks connected with the home that are the fundamental tasks of humanity... if the mother does not do her duty, there will either be no next generation, or a next generation that is worse than none at all."

WHAT IS INVOLVED IN BEING A MOTHER?

Being a mother involves more than just becoming pregnant and giving birth to a child, it involves, preparedness, readiness, self-sacrifice, commitment and love. the woman must be prepared for the task of being a wife and a
mother because its demanding and time consuming, but its more fulfilling than any secular work or profession especially when its done right.

She must be ready and expectant when a baby is on the way. the task of raising a baby needs careful thought and readiness.She must be able to offer herself for her family, her children needs her love and attention at all times, and the father too needs care,love and attention, so she should be willing to attend to all these needs when they call.

Commitment is needed because the early stage of catering for a family might seem frustrating especially when things are not clear or going on smoothly in the family. In March 8, 2003, then UN Secretary-General, Kofi Annan said: "Study after study has shown that there is no effective development strategy in which women do not play a central role. When women are fully involved, the benefits can be seen immediately: families are healthier and better fed: their income, savings and reinvestment go up." this statement confirms that the society at large can never do without our women, so we appreciate you women and also praise your effort.

THE BASIC ROLES OF WOMEN:

the roles of Women(Mother) include but are not limited to the following:
1.She takes care of her children and her household.
2.she spends more time with the children, so she acts like the teacher, and disciplinarian
during the formative years and the early stages of life.
3.She is the home keeper, though some time women are allowed to work so that the family can
make ends meet, in that case the role of the woman adds up and the family can plan how
to lessen it.
4.She is meant to be a helper or a complement of the man in all areas and circumstances that is worthwhile.
5.She builds her home up in love and cares for her household even at the expense of her own
freedom or time.
6.She sets reasonable standards for her children in the absence of her husband.

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The Origin of the Family Arrangement

The Hebrew term mish·pa·chah' (family), in addition to referring to a household,also means, by extension, a tribe, people, or nation. The Greek word pa·tri·a also isbroad in its scope.
God originated the family arrangement from the start by giving the first human couple the ability to pro create when he brought them together and gave them the command to multiply which they will only fullfill through the family arrangement as man and wife.


In ancient Hebrew society the family was the basic unit. The family was a small government; the father as head was responsible to God, and the mother was the subordinate manager over the children in the household. today many people try to tamper the original order by advocating women independence and power. in the original family arrangement by God, women were never supposed to be totally independent, though they were never meant to be abused or treated like filth.
Each person in the family circle has their role to fullfill and also their place in the family system well arranged by the institutor himself. a lot of families today face so many challenges because they either dont know their role in the family arrangement or they have either neglected or even abused it.
Monogamy was the original standard God set for the family. Although polygamy was later practiced, polygamy was always against the original principle that God laid down.However, he tolerated it until his due time to restore his original standard.
Under the Law covenant he recognized the existence of polygamy and regulated it so that the family unit was still kept intact and operative.

Under the Law Covenant. In giving the Ten Commandments to Israel, God gave attention to the integrity of the family unit. “Honor your father and your mother” is the fifth commandment, the first commandment with a promise.

God who is the originator of the family arrangement has been kind enough to discuss in full details how to maintain love in a family circle, he has gone so far by spelling out what every member of the family unit must do for the smooth running of the family.

To maintain love and unity in your family, reading help articles is not just enough,you have to be ready to make changes where it is needed, you need to put into practice the suggestions so that it will guide you to find true love and happiness in your family circle.

In my blog, i shall discuss in details the role of each family member in the family arrangement and also to help families who have problems to rekindle their love by appreciating their role in the family circle and doing it.

Visit other articles in this blog, there are family articles, we discuss about health, we talk about entertainments, we give news both local and international news update. you can bookmark this blog to make it easier to revisit. when you read through, like our facebook page, and follow us on twitter, and even help us to share to your friends. Tell the world how you feel by commenting on what you read. thanks a lot for visiting this site!.

6 Signs You are in a Healthy Relationship!!!

Most couples tend to define their relationship as being good or bad. However, psychiatrists and marriage counselors believe that the actual term that should define a relationship is “healthy”. A relationship (be it a healthy or an unhealthy one), has to pass through testing times. If you too are going through some ups and downs, it is best to find out how healthy your relationship is. Here are a few things which will help you to discover the current state of your relationship.

1. Mutual respect
This is an ultimate test for any relationship. Respecting your partner is perhaps the biggest contribution you can make towards a stronger relationship. This does not mean that you start worshipping your partner. Here, respect could be something as simple as admiring them for the manner in which they handle a stressful job and fulfill their duties towards you and your kids.



2. Personal crisis is not an individual struggle
Everybody goes through difficult times due to factors such as health, workplace and family issues. However, in a healthy relationship, your problems are no longer just yours. This means, he or she is there to sense that you are struggling with something, and is also ready to help. Couple-hood loses its essence if the two of you are not there for each other during tough times.

3. No Room for abuse
This refers to an abusive behavior beyond the realm of just saying negative words to each other. Forcing you to relent even when you are not in the mood to get intimate is also a type of physical and mental abuse. Also, being repeatedly badmouthed by the in-laws despite your best attempts to appease them is parallel to being psychologically abused. If such things are part of your relationship, it is certainly not healthy.

4. Being happy for each other comes naturally
If you two can feel happy for each other for the smallest of accomplishments, it indicates a healthy relationship. For instance, if your wife is praised by her boss, it is a reason enough for you to feel happy for her. Similarly, the smallest layer of muscle your husband has added through his gyming makes you kiss him with adoration. These are strong indications that your bond does not need significant happenings to make you feel happy for the other person.

5. Minimal boredom
This is perhaps the most common relationship challenge till date. Most couples, who have a difficult time dealing with their couple-hood (including the newlyweds), keep talking about a certain kind of boredom that has set in their relationship. Though this is an inevitable part of any relationship, the boredom should not become overwhelming. So much so, that you no longer wait for the ‘exclusive moments’ with him or her. If it has been more than a couple of months when you last spent some quality time with your spouse, your relationship is for sure taking a gradual nosedive.

6. Honesty is not an issue
When being honest, and I mean, being brutally honest with each other is not an issue, you can be assured that you share a healthy relationship. This is easier said than done, since sharing what you actually feel, your opinions or emotional state in its absolute sincere form does not come easy.

Tips Article

TRAINING CHILDREN FROM INFANCY TO ADOLESCENCE

Training a child can be a daunting task especially when the parents fail to start on time. the best time to start training a child for sure is when they are young and can be easily controlled and directed.

AS CHILDREN grow, they explore the boundaries of their expanding world. They interact with more people—playmates, schoolmates, and extended family. when children interact with different people, the parents definitely are not the only people that influence them anymore. That is why it is essential that you use these years to teach your child the value of obedience and good manners. It is also important to provide direction with regard to right and wrong.



To train a child requires a lot, like, you have to reprove, reprimand, exhort, with all long-suffering and art of teaching.

Children ought to be tought at every given opportunity, seize every opportunity to inculcate something in your children. for you to be able to teach your children effectively, you have to develop the art of listening. listen when they talk, either to you or to friends and neighbors. children hardly keep secrets, so when you listen carefully when your children talk you can easily understand how they feel about things and also what they are going
through.

Make your children your friends. its normal for your friend to tell you what is bothering him or her, if you make your children your friend, they will more easily tell you things that bother them and also ask you anything they do not understand.

Do not hold back discipline. when your children flaunt your law, knowingly or unknowingly do not hold back discipline. if there are certain standards you set in your family and you also set out punishment for the offender and you child side steps, make sure the proportionate discipline is melt out. this will help the child to see reasons why he/she should never disobey your laws, and it will also help them to see why they should always fulfill their promises when they make one.

In disciplining your children, do not let them see you as a wicked father, that will make them see you as another enemy or threat they have, so you must show reasonableness when disciplining your children.