How to Prepare for a Successful Marriage(part 2)Getting a Mate

 

What  to Look  for  in  a Mate:   (Read the part 1 here!)
Everyone has choices and what they will want their mate to possess. some though have made so many mistakes in setting unrealistic standards and these standards and unnecessary choices has made a lot of people who are of marriage age remain unmarried.
It is not wrong to set standards or have choices as explained above, but the point is making a reasonable and realistic choice is a great key to finding a suitable mate as well as happiness in a marriage. when you approach someone of the opposite sex whom you find attractive or that you want to settle down with, feel free to approach the person after you have done proper self scrutiny, you might start by asking yourself, Is marriage really my intention? you need to be sure before you proceed because it is very wrong to toil with someones emotion. there are some cases you approach someone of the opposite sex with sincere intention and the response you get is negative. in that case you do not have to force yourself on someone or become pushy or even beg someone to pity you and fall in love. if that should happen it can later lead to frustration, so do not persist to the point of being objectionable, remember that the other person has a right to make choices too and you might not be the persons choice.
Compatibility: you obviously need a mate that is compatible with you. you do not have to be in a relationship with someone with a different idea believes or that your character or personality is different from, understanding yourself might be very difficult. do not look for a mate that is wise, or that knows everything, marry someone who is teachable and quick to make adjustments when needed.
You do not have to look for a perfect mate, you can always love that imperfect person perfectly.
Physical appearance: it is not entirely bad or wrong if your mate is physically endowed or attractive, but placing emphasis on someones appearance when it comes to marriage can lead to a disastrous end. inner qualities and beauty should always come first and the paramount consideration before anything else for you to make a success of marriage.
The truth is: you can never find anyone who shares your entire beliefs, ideas, values and your thoughts.do not ask: "Do we agree on everything? it might be wise to rather ask: "What happens when we disagree?"
If you want to get married, be wary of anyone who is proud and opinionated, never willing to compromise, or who constantly demands and schemes to have his or her own way.
Find  Out  Before Hand
There are some basic questions that can help you analyze properly the person you want to marry, For example, a woman might ask, “What kind of reputation does this man have? Who are his friends? Does he display self-control? How does he treat elderly persons? What kind of family does he come from? How does he interact with them? What is his attitude toward money? Does he abuse alcoholic beverages? Is he temperamental, even violent? Could I deeply respect him?” A man might ask, “Does this woman display love and respect? Is she capable of caring for a home? What will her family expect of us? Is she wise, industrious, thrifty? What does she talk about? Is she genuinely concerned about the welfare of others, or is she self-centered, a busybody? Is she trustworthy? Is she willing to submit to headship, or is she stubborn, perhaps even rebellious?”
Although the above questions will surely help you to analyze things, but you should still give room for imperfections, do not expect a replica of a hero or a heroine from a romance movie or novel, every human on earth have shortcomings or limitations and some of these will have to be overlooked by the both partners.
What, though, if you notice things that trouble you deeply? Such doubts should be considered carefully. However romantic you may feel or however anxious you may be to get married, do not close your eyes to serious faults. If you have a relationship with someone about whom you have serious reservations, it is wise to discontinue the relationship and to refrain from making a lasting commitment to that person.